Dear Unborn Fauns: I think I'm the only one of us obsessive enough to read the musings of the Commentariat on the TLo board, so I believe it is my sacred duty to alert you all when something priceless turns up written by one of our fellow bitter kittens.
Here's a riff by someone screen-named Brooklyn Bomber who is one of the 400 people logging on to articulate how much they hate (or love...some do) our Villain du Jour, Wretchen Gretchen. Read it and see how it a giggle like this can immediately enhance your (gray, drippy here...YAY!) day.
Ann has already had to listen to me to an live enactment of this so I hope she won't mind being exposed to it again!
8/27/10 4:54 PM
Brooklyn Bomber said...
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we stand before you, asking for mercy. At this desperate hour, we find ourselves on our knees, urging you to think not of what you have seen today, but of what you have seen before, and of what you may yet see.
Citizens, spare these humble lives. Keep us from the gallows this day, for truly, if one is guilty, all are guilty. And yet, if you are to spare one, spare all, for through us runs the common thread (no pun intended). Are we not all, each in his own way, but humble tailors: sketching, cutting, stitching? When we prick ourselves with a straight pin, do we not bleed? Do we not want what you want? A humble home, a loaf of bread, a straw mat on which to rest, $100,000 from L’Oreal Paris to start our own line and a $50,000 HP technology suite?
Despite what some here would have you to believe, our collection is not the devil’s child. We are neither coven nor cabal. We are neither more nor less than a humble community, united by common cause and unshakable mutual love and respect. If loyalty is a crime, find us guilty. Yet we have broken no laws of the state and, most significantly, we have upheld the laws of the greatest judge of all, He who sees all and who knows the purity of our hearts and the superiority of our design and sewing skills.
Or, that is, the superiority of the design and sewing skills of most of us. A few of us, anyway. Well, me and my little friend over here to my left. The rest, I’m not sure. Especially the guy to my right. I mean, if you’ve gotta off someone, I recommend him. He’s kind of a fuck up. Yeah, sure, the law doesn’t allow you to choose him, but rules are made to be broken, right, ladies and gents? Okay, okay, if you can’t take him, how about Marcel Marceau down there at the end of the line? We can carry on without him if we have to, know what I mean, ladies ‘n germs?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Mr. G. and I watched the episode last night. He was totally gripped by the drama and very impressed by the Bad News Bears' collection.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, Mr. G has a terrific fashion eye and does not mind in the least going clothes shopping. Although, I rarely ask him to join me because TJ Max and Filene's Basement are just not conducive to fashion consulting.
Anyway, I thought that Ivy should get the boot, but Mr. G. wanted Gretchen to take the dive. He gasped at the collection - agreeing with Nina that the color choices were ghastly. I thought that the TLo boys blog on Gretchen was hysterical, along with the Brooklyn Bomber blog. And didn't Gretchen's melt down remind you of all so many employees who won't admit their own mistakes?
But, she creates too much good TV for them to toss her yet. A smack down by beloved Tim - priceless.
Hurrah for Peach for listening to Tim. Although thinking that the red should cover the lace exposes her true demure (boring) esthetic. And pick some different colors for goodness sake.
This was a great episode ... those of us who watch reality shows prize these Gretchen moments. I think my mouth actually dropped open when she changed her tune so dramatically ... and the producers must have dropped to their knees and thanked god when they heard her.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bethie that Ivy should have been auf'd ... it was the worst of a bad collection. Even the dreaded Michael C was better than Ivy. It goes without saying that they'll hang on to Gretchen as long as they can.
I can't wait till Tim gets back to his Facebook blog ... that's where he does his best trashing and I really, really want to hear him talk about this episode.